• Dana Webster

"Good Will Hunting"

Updated: 6 days ago

Have you seen the movie, “Good Will Hunting”? I highly recommend it. The overriding message is one of self-forgiveness and compassion.

The character, Will Hunting (played by Matt Damon), is a young man living the best life he can given the emotional and spiritual scars of an abusive upbringing. Turns out, Will is also a math genius. He is required to work with a therapist, for his anger issues, in order to benefit from a free University education. He begins to work with a psychiatrist, Sean, played by Robin Williams.

In this scene, after many sessions that appeared to be leading nowhere, Will is gently guided to feel the true pain of his past.

“It’s not your fault,” Sean says. “It’s not your fault."

Moving closer to Will, repeating the phrase, until he hears it. Tough, defensive Will finally opens his heart and allows the message to sink in. Finally, he can hear the words as truth.  Finally, he is released from the self-blame, the malice, the protective layers.

Will told himself that, sure, it wasn’t his fault that his father beat him. But, in his little boy heart, he believed differently. Children cannot fathom deliberate cruelty from their parents; it flies in the face of their very real need to be loved and protected. Instead, children come to believe that they must have done something to provoke the beatings, the molestation, the neglect. It doesn’t take long for the reinforcing message of blame to take deep root in the body and soul.

What happened to you as a child is not your fault. It couldn’t be. There is nothing you could have done or said that caused you to be abused or neglected. Children do not provoke grown-ups to hit them, to sexually abuse them. That would suppose that they are in a position of power and influence over adults which, of course, simply isn’t the case.

It’s not your fault.

It’s not your fault.

#lifestyle #decisionmaking


Nestled in hills of Hockley Valley, Mono, ON